I see myself struggling. I'm Happy, most of the time. But a lot of the time I think I could do more, be more. Stop letting my fear and preconceived notions Get the best of me. I dont know how I fit into our family yet, I think I'm between on that. I feel a sense of strong friendship and I trust and adore my Mistress. But,I also know I'm not ever going to be her only focus, there won't be a one on one. I am selfish. I love my brother, my lover, my incestuous boyfrend. He is simultaneously the best and hardest person to be around. I am constantly being shoved to see if I'm as strong as I need to be. To be a slave. To be Misstress Carrie's collard girl. I believe I know a bit of what it means to me now to earn my collar. It would mean I endured. I did everything that was asked of me nd tried my hardest at showing devotion. Going out of my way to show others how much of an amazing person my Misstress is, to take the time to love and educate me.
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