Regret

i feel as though this will be hard to put into the right words, i often put my foot in my mouth so to speak i would be lying if i didnt say that coming into this relationship, i didnt expect to be wowed by a female Dominant. i was proven wrong, time and time again. Misstress Carrie is an amazing Dominant, attentive, creative and fair. She is also my friend, sharing private jokes, comforting me when i am uncertain. but more and more, i feel as though i cannott fully relax and enjoy my time with Misstress because of ashe. it is hard, always being subject to scruitiny even when not in Her presence. At times, it feels as if he thinks im stupid and immature, not worthy of being a subbmissive for Miss Carrie. as much as i love Her and wish things were easier, i cannott fully commit with someone elses foot on my neck. i worry about Misstress being dissapointed, angry. i still wish to be friends, i will still submit to Her. but a slave, i dont think is for me. not now.